Missing: Explosive San Francisco 49er offense capable of shredding apart secondaries with pinpoint accurate passes and carve up defensive lines with precision blocking that opened up huge holes in which a running back could run for days.
Last seen in the mid to late 1990's. They were spotted wearing the number's 16, 8, 33, 32, 82, and 80 among others.
Reward if found: A trip to the Super Bowl.
All kidding aside folks, as a Niner fan, I am sick, physically sick, of moral victories like the one this past Sunday as the Red and Gold fell to the Colts 18-14 in a game that could only have been described as gut wrenching at best.
I grew up in an era of San Francisco football where the West Coast offense was first off the West Coast offense and second was played to perfection by the best team in the league year in and year out.
Since the departure of Steve Young and even Jeff Garcia, it seems as if the hapless decedents of football royalty have forgotten how to run the kingdom that has been handed to them. The once proud, unstoppable and feared 49er offense had turned into the sputtering little engine that can't on a weekly basis.
Oh there are sparks...there are great plays like Frank Gore busting loose for a long TD run, or even the occasional long beautiful spiraled throw from Shaun Hill, Alex Smith, J.T. O'sullivan or whatever QB popped up on the carousal, but those sparks have yet to catch fire.
I am not going to bore you, or depress you as the case may be, with stats.. I could, but for the sake of my sanity and yours, lets just say they are bad when it come to anything to with moving the ball and worse when it comes to putting it in the end zone. Forgive me Dr. Seuss for biting your style but instead of raw numbers that may make your eyes bleed, permit me a short limerick.
They can no do it on the ground
A consistent running game they have not found
They can no do it through the air
It seems the greatest Niner arms are sitting in an armchair
They're just plain awful and it seems no answer can be found.
Really though, I may joke, but the point is that unless they find a way to score more consistently, the 49ers are going to have settle for another "rebuilding" year in which they chalk up all of the 2009 failures to a "growing" franchise.
But the truth of the matter is something massive needs to be done and done soon if San Francisco can even hope to win the NFC West this season, and it is not out of reach either. What that is, I can not guess. I could say change the quarterback, but that's been done, more than once. I could say go out and get an explosive receiver, but that too has been done.
It seems, if I want to see a powerful 49er offense this year, I have to watch my old NFL films videos from the glory day with Joe and Steve at the helm. Until then, I am forced to suck down the disappointment that is the 2009 squad.
Here is one cool thing that happened this Sunday, it was a Colts play, but it was still cool and on the bright side, gave me a few much needed fantasy points with the Reggie Wayne TD catch.
It might be a long time until we see another dominant offense comparable to the dynasty days, but I for one am willing to weather the storm and hope that one day I will get to see points on the scoreboard that don't belong to the opposition.
At the end of the day, the fact that you "hung in there" with an undefeated team who on paper should have annihilated you does not put a W on your record, and "moral victories" as much as that term is meant to soften the blow, don't win championships.