Non-flight of the Falcon

Today's post was going to be about the fine art of Googling oneself, but thanks to the media's, both social and traditional, relentless coverage and updates of Falcon, the wonder 6 year old and his epic non-flight in his families "experimental" aircraft, that post has been preempted.

For those four of you who may have had your head in the sand today (believe me, I wish I could have joined you) or were not close to your web browsing device of choice, the story de jour was a family who's son supposedly was traveling through the sky after he climbed in and let loose a homemade, mylar aircraft.

According to early reports there were fears that the contraption would not be able to support young Falcon or that he might have possibly fallen out through the unlocked carriage door.

This horrific story blitzed Twitter tweets and Facebook status updates the world over. National media picked up the story as CNN made it a point to follow the balloon's trip all the way to its completion. The news even jumped the pond and crossed our northern border as well. Hell, even the middle east was watching.

But here's the twist... Falcon was never in that balloon, he was hiding in the attic in a box. Apparently the young gentleman "played with his toys and took a nap."

WTF?? Can I be the one millionth person to call shenanigans?? How in the name of everything holy, can this be considered CNN worthy news? This reeks of a story invented to grab some attention, more like a boy crying "wolf" than a boy stuck in a well.

More over, as the back story began to unfold on Falcon's family, it turns out they were participants on the ABC show "Wife Swap," and frequent ireporters for CNN. Hmmm.... that fish smell sure is getting stronger.

Now of course this story becomes fair game since the boy was found at home instead of splattered on a Kansas field somewhere, and any joke anyone makes now won't sound as heartless as it would if Falcon was in that craft and did suffer a terrible fate, but you have to ask yourself, why was this such a barn burning media sensation? And, if this was all an attempt to extend the Henne's 15 minutes, why did we all buy into it so whole-heartedly?

For that, allow me to refer to my last post about reality television... these are ramifications of handing the keys of celebrity to the undeserving. But thank god for 6 year olds and their inability to lie under pressure.

Here is an excerpt from an interview with Wolf Blitzer shortly after Falcon was found:

Did you hear the part where Falcon admitted they did it all for a show... and did you catch the quick tap dancing act the dad did to cover it up? Let's face facts, we have been had. Move on, good night.

Part of the conspiracy theory side of my brain even thinks we have the ABC execs to thank for this. Maybe a clause in the contract stating that at any time they can be "tapped" to help ratings for the new season about to start soon?

One things for sure though, I do have to say if we take one thing out of this crazy situation is, it has proven me right about the power of the web.

This story was like a buffet for the users of social media. A CNN story reported the numerous tweets as well as at least three fan pages on Facebook popped up almost immediately. On top of that, t-shirts and a spoof video have surfaced, even as the story continues to unfold. CNN may have started us on the path, but the web took our heads and held it underwater until we drowned in the insanity. It's how I found out...

But in the end, thank you Henne's for proving to the world that it is alright to exploit our 6 year old children in the name of fame...now do us all a favor and disappear back to obscurity, your hourglass has run out of sand.